The Blink of an Eye

You think you're going to live forever. You think life isn't going to throw you a curveball that's too terrible. You think that life will end when you're ready, when you're old, on your own terms...

It doesn't. You don't live forever. Life changes direction in an instant. One moment forever alters the course your life will take and you can't go back.

INJUSTICE! we cry. UNDESERVED! we scream. They were good! They loved God! Their time wasn't up! This has to be a mistake... God, what are you doing? Don't you realize what you've allowed to happen here? How can I keep trusting you and believing you if you are going to do something so wrong?!

We've all had a conversation similar to this with God. Maybe not surrounding death, maybe relationships, maybe love, maybe work, maybe friendships, maybe family, maybe depression, maybe disease...

Tonight I heard news that woke me up inside. Someone I know in Florida lost his wife today during childbirth. She was healthy and young. They hadn't even been married 10 years and today, during one of the most joyous moments of their lives, the most terrifying tragedy occurs forever changing the direction of this man's life. Forever altering his future. Shaking him to the core. She died. His beautiful bride of 9 years died giving birth to their fourth child.

Lord, why? Matt and Kylee are missionaries. They help further your kingdom here in the states and in other countries! And they are so young! Their lives have just begun! They were doing you work and you allowed this?

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. God never promised an easy life. He never promised any number of years here on this earth. He never said, "Once you follow me, life will be perfect! All your troubles will subside and if you experience trouble, it will be easy to get through." He never said we'd be with the love of our life until we are old and gray. Yet when a tragedy like this occurs, we sit back and question God's goodness for allowing this to happen to us. As if he's broken some promise he made to us.

However, Jesus did say, "In this world, there will be trouble." (John 16:33) Jesus promised us trouble, not smooth, wide roads. He promised us trouble, BUT he promised us peace. "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7) Jesus goes on to say in John 16, "But take heart! I have overcome the world," (vs. 33).

The devastating circumstances of the Boden family has reminded me...

1. Life is short. Blink and you'll miss it.

2. Don't take people I love for granted. We are all terminal and we're not promised any warning as to when life ends. Don't leave things unsaid.

3. God is good, regardless of the devastation we find ourselves wrapped up in. God is love, regardless of the hate we feel at times. God is the healer, regardless of the pain we suffer through. God is in control, regardless of the chaos we are lost in. God is God and I am not.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"God is God. I dethrone Him in my heart if I demand that He act in ways that satisfy my idea of justice." - Elisabeth Elliot

You are good and your love endures forever.

Lyndsay

Wedding talk...

So, the wedding is 81 days away! I can hardly believe it! :) I've got my dress, Josh has been fitted for his tux, invitations are almost ready to mail (THIS WEEK!), tables and chairs have been reserved, decorations are being bought... it's exciting :)

There's still a TON to do and I feel so behind. It's been a challenge to not get so caught up in all the stress of planning that I forget to just enjoy it all! I mean... for pete's sake! I get to marry my very best friend and we get to spend the rest of our lives together in just a couple months! What could be more exciting than that? :)

In the midst of the chaos, part of me thinks, "This is so much work...we should have just eloped!" But most of me thinks that it will all be worth it in the end and all of me knows that I want to share the celebration of our union with all the people we love :) No wonder people hire wedding planners! ;)

I'm just ready to have it all planned so Josh and I don't have to stress about caterers or shopping or table decorations or trivial things like that and we can just enjoy the days leading up to it! I'm so ready for May 29th to just get here already and to head to the sunny, carefree beaches of Cabo San Lucas with the love of my life :) Soon...

Thankful

Thanksgiving just passed and Christmas is just around the corner... tis the season :)

This year, I am more than thankful for a lot of things in my life...

1. The love of my life is near again :) Joshua moved out to Nevada in October and we are planning a wedding! Things are wonderful and my life is unbelievably better with him nearer.

2. Journey. The people of this church are a HUGE blessing and I am so thankful for all the friends and family we've made here in Fernley through this church. You guys are awesome :)

3. Kevin and Alex. I had been praying for friends and God sent us this super awesome couple that loves Him to hang out with. We have become great friends and Josh and I are WAY thankful for these guys! We love them and they are such an encouragement to us :)

4. My family. God blessed me with 2 awesome parents who love the Lord and have taught me what it means to have a relationship with Him. I also have a really great brother, Brad, who has shown me what faithfulness and loyalty are all about. I so love my family! I also have another family through Joshua. David and Lena are so wonderful and so are Josh's brothers and sister-in-law. I'm also really excited about getting TWO sisters this next year (Charles is getting married!)

There are so many things and people to be thankful for... I have a really blessed life.

Thank you God for loving me. Thank you for your promise to work everything out for the good because I love you. Thank you for the promise of eternal life through Christ. Thank you for the promise of friendship. Thank you for never leaving me and thank you for ALWAYS loving me.

You are good.

Passion

I want to be chased. Not seen as already won, but worth winning every day. It's this innate, unavoidable and insuppressible desire in which my very being can never be severed. Desire is not even a strong enough word... it is more like an excruciating pang of longing to be truly and passionately loved by one man and to yearn for only him for my entire existence. Maybe this sounds too similar to a sappy romance novel for some, but in complete honesty, God made woman this way. He made us to desire being chased and he made man to desire the chase.

The problem is, in my not-so-educated opinion, that we have been told passion is bad. Passion makes us do wrong; therefore, in our finite minds, if we eliminate passion, we eliminate sin.

Dead wrong.

God made us to be passionate beings. Not controlled by our passions, but allowing God to be the reign-holder and steer our passions. The fall of man in the garden has made us desire satisfaction of God-made passions immediately. Example 1: Passion for sex is good. God gave us a sex-drive and a desire for sex (1. as a way to procreate, 2. as a way to share our life with someone emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and 3. as a way to illustrate the complete oneness of the Father Son and Spirit). The problem is not that we are passionate about sex, the problem is that we are not patient. God gave us this passion and when we use that passion in the manner in which God intended, we are safe, we are completely fulfilled, and we are brought closer to Him. When we use our passion in a way that God did not intend, we are harmed (physically, spiritually, mentally, or emotionally), we are unsatisfied, and we are separated from Him.

Example 2: Passion for good food is not a bad thing at all. God gave us an unbelievable plethora of plants and animals (sorry vegans!) to explore taste. He gave us taste buds and He made incredibly tasty things and the creativity to create our OWN tasty concoctions. Not a bad thing at all! God created us to enjoy this life and live it to the full, but if we use our passion for food in a manner in which God never intended, we become unhealthy, and in turn, unhappy. If we use our passion for food in the manner in which God did intend, we are healthy people which (usually) makes us happier people and better able to enjoy this world God has created, help others around us, etc.

You see, the problem is not our passion... the problem is that we were made to have our Creator guide us, but so many of us don't let Him take the reigns in our lives and we are left to our own spiritual demise.

So, by eliminating passion in order to eliminate sin (unsuccessfully, I might add), we are denying ourselves the life that God designed for us to live. God has a beautiful, healthy, enjoyable, adventurous journey for us full of passion and love and excitement. Because of sin (and not just yours), chances are it will involve pain too.

All I'm getting at is... people, be PASSIONATE! Let yourself experience an ardent love for one another. Men, experience the chase of winning the heart of the love of your life every day. Women, passionately love and support and encourage the love of your life every day. People, fervently pursue your dreams and passions, but allow God to be the reign-holder and direct your passions, not to limit you, but to keep you from being limited! We serve a LIMITLESS God just waiting to pour out his blessings on your life! Let us not miss out on those blessings because we are not letting him direct our paths.

God is passionate for us. Let us be passionate for him.

Spiritual Gifts

1 Corinthians 14... Paul speaks to the church in Corinth about using their spiritual gifts in ways that edify the church.

I have not been given the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues. I do believe it still exists, but that isn't my gift. I have not been given the gift of prophecy. I do believe it still exists, but again that isn't my gift. However, I have met people who have been given those gifts and many of those people have taken time to understand their gift and the ways God has commanded them to be used... or not used. I so appreciate when people recognize their spiritual gifts and then remember they are to be used to glorify our Lord and not bring attention or glory or "spiritual status" to ourselves.

As Beth Moore has stated before, ALL believers are baptized in the Holy Spirit whether they speak in tongues or not. Its clear in the epistles that not all believers spoke in tongues and not all believers prophesied. BUT every believer is given a spiritual gift.

Our God is a God of order, not disorder; he is a God of clarity, not confusion.

"²⁷If anyone speaks in a tongue, two—or at the most three—should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. ²⁸If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and God.

²⁹Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. ³⁰And if a revelation comes to someone who is sitting down, the first speaker should stop. ³¹For you can all prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged. ³²The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets. ³³For God is not a God of disorder but of peace...³⁷If anybody thinks he is a prophet or spiritually gifted, let him acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord's command. ³⁸If he ignores this, he himself will be ignored.

³⁹Therefore, my brothers, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. ⁴⁰ But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way." 1 Corinthians 14:27-33, 37-40

It doesn't sit right with my spirit when I'm in a place where spiritual gifts are not being used in accordance with God's Word. Tongues and prophecy are used as a sign of the Holy Spirit and if you don't possess those gifts, then you aren't a true believer or you haven't yet been filled with the Spirit. Our God is in complete unity with the Spirit and the Son and he wants complete unity with his people. I don't believe God has his people separated into "Spirit-filled followers" and "Non-spirit-filled followers". We are ALL his children. All who claim Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior are filled with his spirit and his power. True, some believers allow themselves to experience the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives more than others, but tongues is not THE sign of being filled with the Spirit. We all have different functions in his body and each is equally important.

My only point is that when we know our spiritual gifts, as leaders in the body of Christ, we are responsible to study what God's Word has to say about these gifts and the capacity in which we can and should use them to glorify God and edify the church. As teachers and leaders in the church, we will be held accountable by God for how we lead others and what we teach others. That honestly puts the fear of God in me knowing that if I don't take time to fully understand God's Word to the best of my abilities and I mislead or mis-"teach" others, God will hold me accountable. With leadership comes great responsibility.

Lord, give me more passion each day to study and know your Word. Give me YOUR understanding and perspective. Help me not to lead anyone into a wrong understanding of your Word and surround me with those who will hold me accountable for what I say, what I teach, and how I lead. I love you Lord.

God is moving...

So I haven't blogged in quite awhile... its been a little busy! :)

Josh left a couple weeks ago. I wasn't ready for that and it kind of felt like a blow to the stomach you weren't braced for, ya know? Thankfully, God is working and moving in our relationship and making our separation less painful. He busied himself with a caribbean cruise for a week (JEALOUS) while I prepared for our first "practice" preview service. All of that is NOT to say we haven't had time to miss each other... we definitely are doing plenty of that, but the busyness is making it much harder to dwell on the fact that we are apart right now.

We had a team of HS/MS students from Colorado come out for a week to help us serve our community and wow... God is good! Those kids were awesome and God used them to forever impact peoples' lives here. It was amazing to serve and reach out to so many people who had never had anyone reach out to them by doing things as simple as handing them a bottle of free water. One of the nights, we hosted a Teen Bowling Night at the local bowling alley and had free bowling, pizza, and drinks. I was honestly expecting maybe 15 kids to show up... and that would be exciting. God likes to surpass my expectations and remind me that he is a BIG God :) We had about 40 teenagers show up! It was so awesome and to be perfectly honest, it was eye opening and heart breaking. So many of those students had not one iota of interest in God... they just didn't care. This was learned from just conversing with handfuls of them. This completely intimidates me! But as I sit here and think about how I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm encouraged by the fact that my lack of knowledge and experience gives God SO much more room to work without me getting in the way :) All the glory to Him!!

I'll keep you all posted...

Becoming,

Lyndsay

Anticipation

So today might be the most exciting moment of my life thus far... okay maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but close to it! Joshua comes into town today for a month! I haven't seen him in about a month (which is the longest we have been apart) and the anticipation of it all reminds me of how I felt right before our first date. :) Sweet memories...

A week ago I decided to start fasting for some answers. Joshua feels called to stay in Virginia for another year before moving out here and I want him to be here now... this has caused some conflicts to take place and some conversations to be had between the two of us. Seeing eye to eye was difficult. I decided to start fasting about this. I read Acts 13 and in the first paragraph it talks about the prophets and teachers of the church of Antioch praying and fasting... then the Holy Spirit spoke to them. I needed the Spirit of God to speak to me so my fast began.

Yesterday during my quiet time, I felt like God grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook some sense into me. I finally was letting him speak to me and had my fingers out of my ears long enough to hear him. It wasn't the answer I had been hoping for, but it was the answer I needed.

If I'm going to be Joshua's wife someday, I need to let him be the leader of our relationship and our future. God has given him that headship in my life and I need to support him in that and TRUST that he really is listening to the voice of God. I may not always like it, but by trusting Joshua as my future husband, I need to trust him as my leader... and that doesn't just start on our wedding day. God spoke to my heart and showed me that I wasn't letting Joshua lead. I was fighting it, kicking and screaming, crying and yelling the whole way! I wasn't trusting in Joshua... and when I realized that, it broke my heart.

I felt the need to immediately talk to him, but I knew he was at work and wouldn't be able to answer his phone, so I sent him a quick email apologizing for being such a jerk and for being so blind! I told him that I trusted him and even if I didn't like the decision he made, that I know I can trust its the right one and he'll have my support through it! I have his back and my heart is his. I'm with him through this and I won't fight him about it anymore. It was such a relief... and also such a humility check. I'm so used to leading my life, I needed to be reminded that I need a leader still.

So, tonight Joshua (who has been fasting alongside me out of love) and I will be breaking our fast together... in person. We'll be thanking God for speaking to me and for taking care of us while we enjoy the blessing of food once again :)

Please be praying for Joshua's safety as he travels today (8 hours in a plane!) and pray for our month here in Nevada together. Pray that we keep God at the center of our relationship, that we remain pure (as we will both be living in the same house with my family for this month), and that we learn to love, serve, and minister together as a team. Thanks for all of your prayers and support!

All my love,

Lyndsay